Perpetual Smile

Lately it’s been one thing after another for me. Just when things start to look up, just when I start to figure a way out, something else crashes down on me. I guess it could be worse, but right now it doesn’t seem like it possibly could be.

On top of trying to figure out how I am going to afford and get to SCSU next semester, having more and more car troubles, seeing (and hearing!) less and less of Mike as he works 10-15 hours during third shift, dealing with my health problems, and dealing with my living arrangements, I’ve received a letter stating that I can’t graduate until I complete the math requirements for my degree.

At first, I scoffed at it. “It’s got to be a mistake,” I told myself; I’d taken both of the required classes that I’d been told by my advisor to take. I called the Associate Registrar who is in charge of the graduation applications and left her a voicemail, under the assumption that the records office had made a mistake.

Wrong.

Apparently I have been misled by my advisor, because the second math course I took is not college-level; it doesn’t count toward my degree. The Associate Registrar called me back and explained this to me as I stood with my mouth hanging open. I told her that my advisor had told me it was the right course, and she said that he was mistaken and that I would have to take the right course before I could graduate.

I ranted and raved to Tyla, who suggested I check to see if any math courses were being offered during the winter special session. No luck.

I talked to Mom, who suggested I try to get in touch with someone at the college and see if they could help me. I’ve emailed the head of the Arts and Humanities Department, so hopefully she can help me or point me in the right direction.

I don’t feel that it’s fair for me to wait a whole other semester because of someone else’s mistake. I can’t attend both colleges at the same time, so I would literally have to wait until Fall 2009 to start at SCSU. I’d also have to wait on advancing my career because I still won’t have the A.A. I mean, if I’d known that the second math course I took was not the right course, I wouldn’t have wasted my time and money on it. I really struggle with math, and those two semesters were utter hell. I still have no idea how I managed to pass them. To think that I didn’t even have to take the second course, and might have to take yet a third is daunting. I already put in six credit hours towards math.

At this point, I’m so desperate that I’m willing to bother every big-wig at my college until someone makes this go away. I was so determined and had finally figured out how I would get to SCSU in the spring, and now this. I’m starting to wonder if I’m meant to graduate.

This turned out to be a longer post than I intended. It’s (most) of my woes, so if you want to skip it and read something more cheery, I recommend the Fun stuff category. Otherwise, leave a comment and tell me about your woes. It’s not all about me here, anyway.

This morning on my way to work, I passed a Sunoco and glanced at the price. It was $1.99 a gallon (cash). While most of us rejoice at this lower, Walmart-style price, there’s that nagging feeling in the back of my head that says, “this is bad.” I am only vaguely aware that the reason for the lower gas prices is the declining stock market. The people around me who know about these things — like KJ at work — tell me that the price of gas is going to keep going down, since the stock market won’t be going up anytime soon.

It’s a Catch 22, just like my own financial situation. I ranted a little about this on Scars Can Speak (the Letters of Love blog), and I’ve been writing in my own journal every day about different ways to tackle this problem. Either way, I lose on something. If, for example, I get a second job, I’ll be doing even more running from place to place and who knows how I’ll get my school work done for the rest of the semester. If I get more hours or can go full-time at my current job, I’ll only be able to take two classes next semester rather than getting a full head start on my BA. If I can’t get more hours at my current job and can’t get a second job, I’ll have to leave my current job (which I really like) for a full-time corporate job. Yes, I’d be making more money, but I wouldn’t be able to go back to school full-time for a while. I’d have to be a part-time student. It would take forever. I am so career-oriented and want everything done yesterday that it would drive me nuts. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve been thinking since I talked to Nikki on Monday. We talked about school, and how she goes to Southern. She’s an English major there, and highly recommended the department. So it got me thinking.

I went online and looked at their programs, and they have a concentration in Creative Writing. It would probably be easy to transfer, too, since some of the requirements look the same as some of the classes I’ve taken at NVCC. New Haven is only thirty minutes away (I’d have to leave early, knowing my habits of perpetual lateness) and I could still live at home. I could probably get financial aid–see if FAFSA will still hook me up–and I could keep my job and still work part time.

Of course, that kills the plans of moving into my own place. And I’d have to have a reliable car if I’m going to be driving that far every day.

I was going to use the leftovers from this year’s FAFSA grant and buy that reliable car. If I want to go to Southern, I should get started as soon as possible–like, the spring semester. There goes that car. I could still save up for said car, but there goes any trips or the possibility of an apartment. Poof. Gone.

But Creative Writing. I would be going to school to read and write. What in the world could be better than that? (An apartment.) Besides, this gives me something to focus on after I have my Associate’s. I still have something to do. It won’t actually be like school, because I’ll be taking classes on how to write novels, short stories, plays and poetry. (Unless they make me take more math or some kind of science. BLEGH.)

Did I mention they have a literary magazine? NVCC has the once-a-year Fresh Ink. (I’m not too modest to admit that I won this year’s writing contest. “Moon Prayer” was published and won first place.) I could be on the staff for Folio and work at getting stuff published.

I love web design, but the more I think about it I want my full-time career to be in writing. Sure, web design will make a great side business. I can do both. I can do anything I want.

For the first time, I’m actually sure about something. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me! I was really stressed out about this. Now I’m going to call Southern when I get home from work and talk with them about their Creative Writing program and transferring in the spring. I can save up for a better car between now and then, and the rest of this year’s FAFSA can go to the spring semester.

I think I’m going to cry, I’m so relieved.