Perpetual Smile

The first time that I remember it happening, we lived at the duplex.

I sat in the pink upstairs bathroom, doing my business. Suddenly, as if listening to a radio, I heard a woman’s voice. I couldn’t make out anything she said; most of it was static and crackling. I looked out the window. No one there. No one lived downstairs or upstairs from us, and to my knowledge no one was playing a radio in the house. As crazy as this sounds, the static came from inside of me.

(Note: I don’t hear voices. Promise.)

I got the hell out of the bathroom as quickly as possible.

It happened every so often after that, in the same pink bathroom. Same woman’s voice, washed out by static.

White noise.

Another time, I sat on Mommy’s bed in my parents’ bedroom while Mommy read to Lauren and I. The phone rang and Mom answered it. I could hear my aunt. While Lauren and I sat waiting for the conversation to end so we could get back to whichever Narnia book we were on, I heard the white noise again.

I looked frantically at my sister. She heard nothing. I looked at Mom and tried to tell myself it was just my aunt’s voice that I was hearing, but it wasn’t. I tried to tell myself it was some radio station crossed with the phone lines or something, but it sounded exactly like the same woman’s voice, all muffled and drowned out by static. No one else heard it, either.

I was definitely creeped out.

Luckily, I haven’t heard it in years.

Until last night.

I usually go to bed listening to some kind of music on my BlackBerry (it’s also an mp3 player) — especially if I can’t sleep, am stressed, or worried (which I am, all three). Last night I plugged in my headphones, stuck them in my ears, and heard weird noise.

Not headphone feedback.

White noise.

I can’t even really explain it, but I know it wasn’t just a regular headphone thing.

I noticed that I had accidentally turned my camera on (there’s a button on the side), so I exited it and the white noise stopped. A second later, it started again.

No woman’s voice, but it was definitely there, and definitely creepy.

“Lauren?” I didn’t want to wake her up because I knew she had to go into work for five in the morning, but I had to make sure I wasn’t losing my damn mind.

“Hmn?” She turned toward me.

“Listen to this.” I handed her the headphones. “I don’t have music playing. I promise. Just listen.”

I watched her face as she listened. Her eyes widened a little. “That’s weird.”

“Isn’t it? It’s fucking creepy. White noise,” I said, taking the headphones back and putting them back in my ears. I could still hear it.

I hadn’t even thought about the white noise I heard as a kid until this morning, when I was on Twitter talking to Kreshnik.

I’m trying not to think about it anymore. What are some weird things you’ve experienced but couldn’t explain? Leave a comment and share it!