Hire me, even if I'm not shy on the internet
Posted in Uncategorized on 06/30/2009 11:07 pm by Elizabeth KayleneI’m still trying to figure out this whole keeping work and play separate on the internet thing. In real life, I don’t have to tell my coworkers anything. But online? They can Google me and every. little. thing. ever. pops up. Suddenly I’m self-conscious about every swear used on my blog and wondering if they think I’m crazy since I run a pen pal project for people with depression. I put myself on display, but when am I going to get bit in the ass about it?
Because it’s gonna happen. And I don’t know what I’ll do when it does.
So I’ve been ignoring the possibility that I could lose a client because of Twitter sarcasm about having a bad day, or that someone could stumble upon my blogs about depression and suicide and cutting and fire me dead because that’s shit that people just aren’t comfortable with. I know who I am. I’m a person who’s got a lot to say and doesn’t want to censor anything. I want to tell the truth about the things I experience, see, think, and feel because if I don’t, who the hell else is going to? I want to talk straight up about my past and muse about my future. I know I have a hell of a lot of potential, and I know what I want to do with my life. But the what ifs of being this OUT THERE and HONEST are terrifying.
The people who know me love me because they know me. The people who don’t already know me and may want to hire me aren’t going to love me. They’re going to be looking for any reason not to hire me, because that’s what people do. Especially now that I’m getting my teaching certificate. What if my hypothetical principal finds out I used to cut myself or that I used to starve myself, and decides I’m just not mentally stable enough to teach a bunch of kids? What if I lose a big website client with the company I’m partnered with because of something I’ve written about? I can’t blog and not be real. I’m not funny, so I can’t write up a riot about how to make corn. I’m not a mother, so I can’t write about little girls shoving handfuls of sugar into their mouths. There are a lot of things I’m not.
But I know that I can’t not blog. I know that I can’t blog only about work. I know that I can’t blog only about mundane, blah things that no one cares about. (Unless my blog is already mundane and blah. Then you should just let me know, so I can quit while I’m ahead.) I have a compulsive urge to write about everything that I know I shouldn’t write about. And I can’t figure out how to keep my professional life from colliding with my writing. I mean, let’s face it: I don’t hold much back, especially over at Scars Can Speak.
So tell me, all of you bloggers who do it anyway without worrying: what’s the secret? What’s the trick? What do I do and how do I do it?
06/30/2009 at 11:55 pm
hello my name is mike and i think you need 2 say “the hell with it they dont like it oh well.they want to pass judgement shame on them.i am honest and i tell it like it is.heres my past now lets work on the future.confidence is key.they dont want your past they want what you can offer now.and if they say other wise and dont like what they see without meeting you then may there bussines crumble and they go bankrupt” i love you liz i believe in you 100%
don’t beat yourself up so much.keep your chin held high
07/01/2009 at 12:16 am
i thought it was funny.love ya
07/01/2009 at 12:17 am
You’re too kind first of all.
Second of all?
I would tell anyone in my real life about what’s on my blog. If I wouldn’t say it to my Bishop, my dad or my ex boyfriend? I won’t put it on my blog.
There just comes a day where you don’t care.
Sorry I don’t have any better wisdom than that.
But that’s what happened for me with my overdose post. I just stopped caring, I do it for me and I don’t really care who cares as long as I’m happy with me and God is happy with me. (Oh, and my husband, for the most part.)
Oh, and I would never intentionally hurt someone on my blog. But I don’t think you have to worry about that. So there’s that.
07/01/2009 at 3:52 am
The real reason I don’t care if all of me out there at the moment?
I don’t work in a job/industry that I love.
Hello, I work at Gap. It’s just to get me through school. If I get fired, there are other retail jobs.
But ask me this question in a few years when I am in a job that I love and I might have a different answer.
07/01/2009 at 8:37 am
I keep my business completely separate from my blog for that reason.
07/01/2009 at 10:54 am
There is nothing on my blog that I wouldn’t say to people in real life…nothing. I never talk about work on my blog and/or the personal lives of those around me. Also, sometimes I make up new names for people just because it seals anonymity.
You can always make your Twitter account private, write under a pseudo-identity and a bunch of other things as well.
07/01/2009 at 11:44 am
I don’t think you need to worry about employers… if they don’t like your opinions then to hell with them, because they are just that! Opinions, and they’re your opinions you’re not asking anyone to agree with you, you’re not asking anyone to share the same views as you, you’re just expressing them, which was what I thought blogging was all about? It’s not like you dish about work, or write about clients? so they can’t say anything. Don’t worry about things like that you are an amazing writer and it would be a shame if you stopped writing to your full potential because of other peoples opinions about what you have to say!! Love you! Keep writing!
07/03/2009 at 8:40 am
You already know what I’m going to say about it all. Haha! You know how I roll. I’m a Chirstian with sometimes somewhat “unpopular” beliefs. Ha! I write what I feel, sometimes I write about people, but I don’t judge. On the site, what’s mine is mine. You know?
And duh, I’m a Soldier, so with anyone able to find me in my profession, … yikes, the possibilities of being ordered to shut it down abound. I list the names of my units and talk about my military past, … I talk about my past bouts with depression and drinking all the time while twenty (20) in Korea, suicide attempts, the fact I’ve been procrastinating for years.
I’m a senior leader in the Army and my site has always been public to everyone. So potentially I have superiors, peers and subordinates who can hop on over. All my worlds are mixed into the readers too. My family reads, friends from high school read, friend in the US and overseas read, and Soldiers read.
I’ve been asked about it at work by my Soldiers. And while I never “advertise” it at work (or any place for that matter) I’m never dishonest about it. I always say that I have a website but I never push it on others.
Sometimes I’ve been preachy on the site, sometimes I’ve talked about people, and you know I write birthday blurbs and little notes to people, list Christian music lyrics, etc.
Be you ELIZABETH. It’s what makes us creative folk, creative folk. We express ourselves because if we didn’t, we’d die a little inside. (=-
There’s enough people out there being fake and “popular” for all the wrong reasons, we have to continue to be unique for all the right reasons. You have to sometimes put on a bit of a different face for different people and in different places, but we all have a few sides. Just don’t invent a you which isn’t you and censors all the beautiful yous!
And don’t stop writing sis. Never, ever. And promise me that you’ll sign a copy of your book for me if I sign a copy of mine for you when the time comes. (=-
07/01/2009 at 12:10 am
lmao Why did you just tell me your name?
07/01/2009 at 11:09 am
Dork.
07/01/2009 at 11:14 am
I did hurt someone once, but it was completely unintentional on my part and more of the fact that they knew they were wrong, and reading how hurt and angry I was shook them up pretty bad.
I still totally idolize you for that post. I would never have the guts, no matter how many times I’ve written about being suicidal and cutting. Then again… I don’t know. But you are kickass and have my undying love. And a blog theme, if ever I get some extra time.
But you’re right, there will probably come a day when I just don’t care. I think I’m just too hard on myself.
07/01/2009 at 11:16 am
When I found out that Gap owns Hot Topic, my little world died.
I’ll ask you again in a few years, then. Hell, maybe I’ll have it figured out and I can let you know.
07/01/2009 at 11:17 am
True. I mean, I don’t exactly have my blog linked from my business websites, but they’re both under my real name and anyone could easily find them. As with you, I’d imagine. Does that bug you? It bugs me a lot.
07/01/2009 at 11:22 am
I never talk about work, unless to say “I worked today.” I never mention any co-workers or my place of work, though. I don’t use pseudonyms for people too often, but I have and it makes it easier for me to talk about things sometimes.
And oh goodness, Twitter. I have like 90 accounts. I’ve got @elizabethbarone, which is what I consider my clean “pro” account. I started off using @elizawhat but it got annoying updating two accounts. I keep it because I love that username and sometimes I’ll bounce back and forth between the two. Then there’s @lettersoflove, and @freakingbookwrm, for my two web projects. And I also run an account for my day job (which i’m quite proud of, as it has quite a following and people love it, so it makes me look good in my line of work).
@elizawhat is private and I say whatever and post links to my blog from there. But like I said, it gets kind of old updating both and I’m following a lot of the same people on both.
I dunno. I’m having issues with my OCD and neuroticness trying to figure this all out. I need mental help, lmao
07/01/2009 at 2:48 pm
Oh, I’ll never stop writing!
You’re absolutely right. I just need to get used to that idea.
07/03/2009 at 2:46 pm
You, just like everyone else, have given me a lot to chew on! You’re absolutely right, and I agree completely. I don’t want to censor myself, because part of my coping with depression is being able to talk about it and be honest about it. I just worry a lot. Too much, actually.
I don’t advertise any of my websites at work, either, but like I said and as you’ve said, anyone can Google. And believe me when I say my name is Google-able. There are a couple links that don’t belong to me on those first few pages, but I’m definitely right there.
And you definitely have to think when we publish our first books. Because it’s definitely going to happen.