I beat you to it
Posted in Uncategorized on 05/27/2009 11:39 pm by Elizabeth KayleneI rarely use my MySpace account any more. I logged in tonight because I checked my email like a good working girl and saw that I had a tagged photo and a tagged photo comment, blah blah blah. I also had a message:
I give up
I didn’t reply to it, because it was an awfully immature message. Rather than trying to address the problem head on, you chose to send a message in an attempt to make it look like it was all my fault.
Yes, “Jude,” I stopped talking to you. Not because I am a bad person. Not because I am spiteful or immature. I stopped talking to you because, time and time again, you lied to me. You may think you treasure the friendship we had, but your actions showed otherwise. So, instead of wasting my time, energy, and peace of mind, I stopped talking to you.
We’ve been through this all before. It’s always the same: You get yourself into trouble; I try to be a good friend and help you out; you lash out at me; I withdraw and regroup; you lie to me; I walk way; you send me text messages, social media comments, and leave me voicemails pretending as if everything is okay; I start to miss you and call you back; rinse and repeat.
Not this time. I just can’t anymore. I cannot continue to exhaust myself on you. I cannot continue to give you everything and get absolutely nothing back. Under normal circumstances, I don’t mind. I think I’m a pretty damn good friend. Maybe I’m too loyal. I’ve realized that in trying to help you, I’ve only been hurting myself. And I’m not doing it anymore.
I hope to god you find a way to keep from down (Blue October, “Been Down”)
05/28/2009 at 1:18 pm
Good for you! It is always so hard to break those cycles and I am happy that you did.
05/29/2009 at 9:46 pm
You're doing the right thing! I have a friend like that, and I'm still working on the whole giving up process. For the most part though, I've just ceased replying and talking to that person and I feel a lot better!
05/29/2009 at 10:21 pm
It's really hard! Even now, even though I know what it will lead to, I'm still sitting here second guessing myself. Did I do the right thing? Am I a bad person for walking away? Will I still be able to see her kids (who I love so very much)? It's definitely tough.
05/29/2009 at 10:22 pm
I do feel a lot better, but it still sucks. As much as she completely tires me out, I do love her. I wish there was a way that we could still be friends, but it just doesn't look like it. It's definitely hard to give up on someone you care about. I hope it gets a little easier for you.
05/30/2009 at 5:27 am
yeah real good friend… well then, thank you screw you too. People make mistakes and if you can't seem to see that this "Jude" is actually your friend and actually cared about you then fine, yeah so "Jude" got herself into trouble whatever right. Take a step back. Look in the mirror, have you never felt down, have you never felt like you had no friends? I've been faithfully reading your blog and honestly you're not very nice at all. A true friends sticks by their friends. I had a friend do this exact same thing to me once, and guess where it got her? Nowhere, she ended up being the most selfish person I know, I gave to her what I could, no I couldn't be a full time go to girl, No I was a single mom and had shit I had to take care of. You're very selfish. Think back is this "Jude" Character really worth losing completely?
05/30/2009 at 5:55 pm
You have no right to sit there and call me selfish or mean, when you don't know me at all and don't know the situation. I'm not saying you have to agree with me, but you really have no clue what you're talking about. I have been there for her through thick and through thin, and she has continued to lie to me and hurt me time and time again. Obviously you have never been taken advantage of or been mistreated by someone you love. I know that I am a true friend, and I don't need you to tell me who I am.