Perpetual Smile

I had a cigarette today.

A whole one.

And it tasted damn good.

I think I was just looking for an excuse to have one, because I ended up getting really mad about something and just had to have one. (In retrospect, it was probably a really bad idea to keep the near-full pack in my coat pocket. Which is why I think I really didn’t want to quit.)

I know, I know. I’m dumb. I should have just tossed that pack and kept going. Being sick tends to really make things simple: smoke and feel worse, or stop smoking and feel better sooner.

I don’t know. Obviously I don’t really want to quit. I mean, all the nicotine is out of my system so I’m not addicted anymore. It’s just that physical dependence now that’s probably gonna fuck me.

Anyway.

I had all sorts of fantastic ideas for today’s post but now I can’t remember what they were. (Which is another reason why I need a Blackberry, ’cause then I could either turn my ideas into posts right away or save them in a neat little list. It’s so annoying using my thumb to key through all those letters on my silly regular phone. Sigh.) So instead, you get the craptastic “I may or may not have quit smoking and then I may or may not have started again” post.

I know I owe some of you interviews, but my brain is absolutely blank right now. I promise I’ll get them to you soon, maybe even this weekend!