Round and round the merry-go-round
Posted in Depression Sucks, Mystery Autoimmune Disease on 11/28/2008 10:00 am by Elizabeth KayleneOn Wednesday, when I went to see my chiropractor, I asked him if I should be feeling better by now.
“Well, don’t you?” He stood leaning against the stand-up desk built into the wall of the small room. He flipped through my file. “You had back pain, neck pain, and pain in your arms, but now your back and neck are better, right?”
“My back and my neck, yeah, but it’s my arms. I don’t really care about my neck and back.”
He looked at me for a long moment. “I don’t want to be the one to throw in the towel, but if you’re not feeling any difference there’s really no point in you coming.”
I felt my world crashing down. “Are there any medications I can take?”
“Well, since your symptoms are so sporadic and you don’t have just one target area, it’s kind of hard to prescribe something.”
I nodded. “But you definitely think it’s thoracic outlet syndrome, right?”
He shook his head. “That’s the closest diagnosis I can come to, but here again, your symptoms are so sporadic. Thoracic outlet patients don’t usually have bilateral symptoms, either. Thoracic outlet syndrome patients usually respond really well to this, too.” He paused and looked at me thoughtfully. “I don’t even know where to send you, because you’ve already been through the mill.”
“Yeah,” I squeaked.
“I can suggest acupuncture. Let me go get you a card. You put yourself back together.” He closed the door and I stood there, in sweats and a gown.
“Fuck,” I said, and tore off the gown. I yanked my shirt and coat on and went into the hall.
“Here’s the card,” Dr. Rosa said. “Dr. Zhong does acupuncture.”
“Really?” My voice felt flat. Dr. Zhong stood there and smiled at me sympathetically. I wondered if she could do the acupuncture, but the name on the card was someone else’s, in another town. “Well, thanks,” I said.
“Keep doing the exercises, see if you notice a pattern, and give me a call in two weeks and let me know how you’re doing.” He smiled at me, and I tried to smile back.
I paid my co-pay and the girl behind the counter asked if I would be coming back next week. “No,” I said. We exchanged Happy Thanksgiving’s and I left.
I have to give him credit, for not stringing me along and continuing to take my money even though it wasn’t working. And he does seem to genuinely care. I’m still fucked, though.
I’m still back to square one.
11/28/2008 at 10:35 am
Aww I dont know much about this I have only just started Blogging & reading blogs again but I hope your feeling better soon!
Do I need to register for you blog?
11/28/2008 at 12:09 pm
Aww ‘LIZ. That’s bumming news. I’m sure there’s someone out there who’s going through similar ups and downs; don’t give up. There does need to be an easier way to break into the doctor/healing network. I wish more professionals networked on “our level” instead of waiting until OPRAH asks them all for help on her show. Blah!
Is there anything that’s at least making things comfortable, or are you just always at the mercy of how you feel when you wake up each day and the sporadic flaring throughout the day.
I prescribe a hot bubble bath, cocoa, and a book. It may not help your arms but it’s therapy for your heart. Don’t get discouraged. Keep on keeping on!
Ciao for now sis. *squeeze*
11/28/2008 at 12:16 pm
@Rhiannon: Thanks. I hope so too. And no, you don’t have to register. (:
@Ted: Yeah, tell me about it. Unfortunately there really isn’t anything that helps. Thermacare heat wraps help when my wrists and hands are really bothering me, but that’s about it. They’re expensive, though, and don’t help the rest of my arm. Thanks for your encouragement. Curling up with a book is definitely a good cure!
11/28/2008 at 1:15 pm
Yeah. I wish there was something I could do. You’re optimism and spunk are encouraging to me though. I’ve been down and out before and when I think of you or others with larger issues, … it’s just humbling. You are dealing with what you’re dealing with because you’re tough and can handle it! I’ll send hopes and prayers and my warmest regards. May your days of comfort always outnumber your days of pain. (=- And keep writing!
11/28/2008 at 3:35 pm
@Ted: Wow, thanks. I’m actually pretty damn pessimistic. Maybe blogging really is the cure! I will never stop writing though. Thank you so much! (:
11/28/2008 at 4:30 pm
I’m sorry my love.
I would try the acupuncture though, my mom was all busted up and it seems to be working for her!
11/28/2008 at 5:24 pm
You’re not a pessimist!
11/28/2008 at 10:19 pm
@Nikki: I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet. I need to get a new general practitioner, and I should probably see a neurologist. Acupuncture sounds so cool, though. Hmn.
@Ted: Ha, says you! Just ask anyone who knows me. I am so negative. I try to be optimistic, though.
11/29/2008 at 11:53 am
I can empathize with how discouraging this must be for you. All I can say is if you think you need a new GP, get one!! That can often be the point of failure in chronich pain management, IMHO. I hope you feel a little better today…
11/30/2008 at 2:02 pm
@Faiqa: Thanks. I think my plan of attack is to try to get in with the GP, try to get in with the neurologist, and if all else fails I can just go hibernate somewhere with some Ben & Jerry’s.