Perpetual Smile

Apparently I missed something when Sarcastica told me she loves my blog. I am so dense that I completely missed the fact that one, I got an award and two, I’m supposed to nominate seven other blogs!

I blame it on the fact that when she nominated me, Sarcastica admitted that she has a girl crush on me. My dizzy little head completely ignored everything else, it seems! So please excuse my ditsy moment and read on to see whose blogs I love!

Here are the responsibilities of being a recipient of this award:

1) Add the logo of the award to your blog
2) Add a link to the person who awarded it to you
3) Nominate at least 7 other blogs
4) Add links to those blogs on your blog
5) Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs!

• Miss Nikki Starr — I may be biased because she’s a good friend, but Nikki’s blog is fairly new to the blogosphere and she could use some comment love! Her words are thoughtful and she really makes you think.
• Sarcastica — Again, probably biased; she thinks I’m pretty! Still, she’s got a lot to say and has a very mature view of the world. Plus, she’s kind hot, too.
• Attack of the Redneck Mommy — Tanis will make you laugh, cry and leave you begging for more. She is a hero in my eyes; she has experienced one of the hardest things in life and is still able to keep on living and loving.
• Slightly off the Mark — I’m attached to this blog. I’ve kept my LiveJournal account specifically so I can still read Mark’s columns. He’s got a great sense of humor and his articles are also thought-provoking. You’ll want OpenID so you can comment.
• Scars Can Speak — I’ll admit, I started this blog, so I’m probably biased. Still, each and every SCS blogger brings strength to the Letters of Love community and is an inspiration to everyone who has ever struggled with depression. You guys are a huge part of my world, and you don’t get enough credit for the wonderful posts you write.
• Just Lizabell — Lizzy was one of the first bloggers to start reading my blog without me reading hers first. Her rants always make me laugh, and she has nice hair. Her boyfriend’s also a Campbell (mine goes by the nickname Mike the Soupcan), so she gets extra points for that.
• Mary Murderface — This girl rocks. She’s the brilliant mind behind Astrid and Dante (which I will post here someday) and she’s cool. She’s the other reason I still have my Lj account.

It was hard to pick only seven, but I wanted to pick some bloggers that don’t get enough props. I love you all though, so this wasn’t meant to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Thanks again to Sarcastica for rewarding me, and thanks to everyone who reads my drivel. Yay!

I’ve come to the conclusion that when you cheat on someone, you didn’t really want to be with them in the first place.

When I was seventeen and dating Mr. Right Now, I knew the relationship was failing for a long time. Subconsciously, anyway. I think he knew it, too. Neither of us, however, wanted to admit it.

A month after I miscarried, I was sick with the flu. I vividly remember calling him on a Friday December night and his sister telling me that she didn’t know where he was. I remember feeling bad, because I was stuck with the flu and he was out having fun and I couldn’t talk to him. The next morning, still sick as a dog and wishing for my death, he called me and told me he’d gotten drunk and cheated on me the night before.

People frequently get drunk, and cheat. Personally, I don’t understand it. I think the drinking part of it is an excuse; Mr. Right Now said so himself that he’d thought several times about leaving because the girl he cheated with kept hitting on him. This is frequently the case. A friend of mine once cheated on her boyfriend while drunk. She had known ahead of time that drinking with those certain people might get her into trouble.

Another friend, whose relationship was failing, cheated on her boyfriend of several years sans alcohol excuses. Later on she had told her boyfriend that the relationship was pretty much over and they had both known it, so there was no point in trying to fix things.

A third friend was cheated on and kicked out of the apartment they shared the day after, along with their one year old daughter. The relationship had been going downhill for some time. Am I sensing a pattern, here?

Mike says that some people still cheat even if they don’t want the relationship to be over. “You can love the shit out of someone and still cheat on them,” he said. I’m not so sure. Maybe it’s because I’ve been cheated on, whereas he hasn’t and has never cheated on any of his girlfriends. I just can’t picture myself doing that to someone I love. Does the cheater know it’s wrong when they’re doing it? I think so. Mr. Right Now did, and my friend who soberly cheated on her boyfriend knew it too.

What do you think?