Perpetual Smile

Blegh. I feel tired and lazy. I keep thinking about having a cigarette, even though a) I know that I don’t have any, b) I know that I don’t have money to buy any and c) I know I’ve quit. I think it’s more out of habit. Like, earlier as I finished eating lunch, I thought to myself, “okay, I’m done, time for a cigarette”. I caught myself and laughed at the habit.

I’ve been doing pretty well, though. I’m not cranky. No headaches. I’ve been drinking lots and lots of water. Yesterday I dragged Mike to Target. I bought Breaking Dawn, a couple of composition notebooks, a ginormous case of water, a new air freshener for my car and a pack of gum. I only have enough money now for coffee in the morning, and maybe a meal at Arby’s or Burger King. (I woke up dying for BK. I don’t know why.)

Aside from blogging I’ve only told Mike, Lauren and Sandy. Mike doesn’t think I’ll stick with it. He wanted to lay down a bet but said I could cheat. I made Lauren promise not to tell our parents, because I don’t want anyone making a big deal out of it. Heh. Sandy is quitting tomorrow, because her kids come home tomorrow and it gives her a solid thing to hold onto. I only did it this morning because, knowing myself, I know I’d just procrastinate. Every once in a while I have second thoughts, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.

It’s really not as bad as I’d thought it would be. Not yet, anyway.