Perpetual Smile

Quizzy:

Which Final Fantasy Guy are you?

Anyway…

::Saturday:: My birthday. It started off pretty normally, woke up, my mom left my presents on the table cos she and my dad went to help my aunt move. They came home while I was vacuuming, and my dad kept asking me if I was done yet and what I had to do after vacuuming. So I got dressed, moved furniture around, and then went with him. I was pretty sure he was taking me driving but I couldn’t tell, so I just went with it and kept my mouth shut. Turned out I was right ^^ I’m actually not that bad, it must be all the video games. And they say video games are bad for you… *shakes head sadly* Anyway, while we were out, I guess Sean and Eric showed up, so we went home (it was like 1 or 1:30). Then Joan came, and we were all hanging out, ddring and basically just hanging out. We started hacking after a while, and then decided to go to Dylan’s cos Sean and Eric wanted to buy a bag (what else is new? XD) So we hung out at Dylan’s for a while and smoked, then came back, hung out some more, ate cake and some munchies, then started watching Dreamcatcher, at which point Dylan came. Finished the movie, hacked some more, hung outside, then it was 11 and time for everyone to go home. I saw Sean S, too, he gave us a ride from Dylan’s cos he lives across the street from him. But I had a really good time, and by the time the night was over I was in a really good mood, feeling really good about me and Sean and whatnot. Before we came home from dropping Sean and Joan off, my dad and I went 4-wheeling in the woods (I love 4-wheel drive XD), and drove around for a while. It was nice. I didn’t want to go home yet after we went in the woods, and I guess my dad didn’t either cos he drove right past our house and kept driving around. By the time we got home it was like 2.

::Sunday:: My aunt Rikki and Nana took me out to lunch, and Aunt Rikki got my bellybutton pierced. My mom ended up having to meet us cos they wouldn’t do it unless I had some sort of proof of birth. Fuckers. So once my mom got there, we went to Lifestyles and got it done. Here’s the best part: My family is so fucking weird, my nana had my aunt go in the room with me and take pictures of me getting it done. ^^;; So then we went to Wet Seal, and Nana bought a couple shirts and some rings, and then we went to Waldenbooks and Aunt Rikki bought me Stephen King’s The Stand, and I bought myself Fake #1 and Petshop of Horrors #1. Shounen-ai, wh00t!! …After that we all went home, I took a cold shower cos it was so fucking hot, and then started watching Sixteen Candles. People started arriving, so I couldn’t anymore, and the family party started. It lasted, what, maybe 2-3 hours, then that was it. Good thing, too. >>;

::Today:: School. >< Not fun. I kept hitting my bellybutton with random objects, got blisters from my new shoes, spent the day sweating my ass off, found out we can't go out in the parking lot cos it's roped off and teachers kept sending people inside, found out the new superintendent fucking sucks ass cos now there's all these stupid new rules, and Chef I. went on and on and on in Theory and finally stopped at 2:10, giving us only ten minutes to change. I also ended up leaving my knife kit out in the kitchen, hopefully no poor ass sophomore steals it because although I -do- have the eighty bucks to buy a new one, I don't feel like wasting my money on something I already have. I broke about three rules today.. Suddenly you can't wear tank tops at all when you used to be able to as long as it wasn't spaghetti strap, and I was wearing one, smoking isn't allowed and never was, but hey, I had cigarettes on me, and drugs aren't allowed and never were and I had weed on me. ^^ Me and Joan were going to smoke this morning so shop wouldn't stress us out but since we couldn't get outside...

I -knew- I was going to be sick of school after the first day..

Don’t think I’ll have the chance to update tomorrow, so I’ll just update whenever I can after that.

I knew today would go by agonizingly slow, and it is, sort of, so far. It doesn’t seem as if I’ll get what I really wanted, which was to spend the day with Sean tomorrow. His mom is moving tomorrow, and he has to help. She’s also going out of the country for a few weeks, so he’s either going to have to stay with Eric or stay with Kirsten and Kali in an apartment. Either way, pretty soon he’s going to have his own place. And I’m pretty sure tomorrow will be the last time I see him for a while.

I knew this was coming, I knew it was inevitable, yet I still wish it weren’t. He’s going to have to get a job, no matter what, which means he’ll be working nearly all the time. I’ll be in school, and when I start working it’ll make things even more difficult. I’m so used to seeing him at least every other day, I don’t know how I’m going to react to not seeing him so much. I know we’ll still be together, that’s not what I’m worried about. I’m worried about missing him and it coming back and me not being able to stop it. I’d like to think it won’t, but if things start getting stressful, at school, home, whatever, it very well might come back. >< I just have to stay positive, is all.

Sandy should be back in CT soon.. within the next couple weeks, I reckon… But I don’t know for sure cos she hasn’t written back and hasn’t called me either. She called the other day and when I answered she hung up. I’m so desperate to talk to her.. I want to know when they’re coming back and what’s going on… and more importantly, how’s her baby? She had an appointment on Tuesday at which she was supposed to find out whether it’s a boy or girl, and she promised she would call me as soon as she got out but never did.

Oh well. Time for me to go have a cigarette and then return to my slavedom. Cleaning before my own birthday. wtf.

My father just yelled at me cos I didn’t know what the word “conventional” meant. I told him I was sorry I’m not smart enough for him. ><

3 more days... Phi and Jeremy can't make it, Dylan's going to try, Joan's coming, so is Sean... and Sean might bring along Eric.

Eric + DDR... This thought amuses me greatly.

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Found this on Dayna's lj:

Well, things have taken a sudden turn. I must admit, it feels like a soap opera or something. But I’m glad everyone’s happy again.

Mat, I loooooove yoooouuuu! ^-^ *glomp*

So, yeah… Vacation time. Got to enjoy what little time I have left before I return to slavedom. ^^

Is it just me… or are they giving out medals for free in the Olympics this year? O_o

Wh00t, big 1-6 in just 4 days… ^^ I can’t wait. As soon as they start, I’m signing up for Driver’s Ed in school. I want my license as soon as possible. …I can’t believe it’s already the 23rd…. I have to go back to school in exactly a week, which is kind of good but kind of sucks. I know as soon as I get into shop I’m gunna want to run home and hide under my bed XD

Sean came over today.. *kicks self for asking him to come over* He ended up having to walk home. I am loved. But I feel so damn guilty, you know? His bike got stolen last time he was at Dylan’s, so this morning he took the bus here and tonight walked home. So… guilty…. *dies* His mom, sister, and niece are moving either Saturday or Sunday, which means he will soon be free. I’m planning on taking him out to dinner to celebrate, since he took me out with his birthday money. We’ll make a day of it, I guess, and I can go shopping too. (He also bought me cigs today so I promised I’d pay him back, although he acted like it was no big deal. But it’s the least I can do, you know? Eventually I’ll have a car, since my dad is fixing the blazer and Pontiac, and I’m pretty sure I’m getting to drive the Pontiac, so at least then I can give him a ride if I’m free. Odds are that I’ll have a car and my license before he does, unfortunately.)

Well… I’m gunna go now, I have a headache and I have like a million pages of Harry Pothead Year 5 to read still, so… Yeah.
‘Night! ^^

Yuki (Isac) just imed me.

Grr, I’m so bored… I wanted to go to the mall and meet Joan, cos her girlfriend just broke up with her, but my father is so lazy he won’t drive me or say yes, that I can walk. >< Lazy ass…

Today I was going to do a few things, clean my room, etc, but I don’t feel like it now. Guess I’ll just sit around online, roleplay a bit, and maybe Kate will come on.

*sigh*

So.. 8 more days, wh00t!! I’m actually excited about it.. At first I wasn’t, I was planning evil things for that day, but now I’m happier and so those evil things aren’t going to happen. O_o *slaps self*

And in about ten days I go back to school… I’m excited about that, too, junior year and all… Ring dance, prom, no more pot sink…. Did I mention no more pot sink? ^_____^ NO MORE FUCKING POT SINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m excited XD Can’t wait to get my bellybutton pierced and can’t wait to get my hair dye… Purple = greatness

Went back to school shopping today, at Wall Market (Wal-Mart) XD Anyone who’s ever played FF7 will know what I’m talking about.. Anyway, at first I wasn’t too happy about that, but they actually had some cool stuff. ¬¬; I actually picked clothes with colors… O.o My mom was amazed XD

So… I guess that’s it.. Kind of worried about Sean and where he’s gunna go when his mom moves, but.. I’m trying to stay positive right now, and he keeps telling me not to worry.. so…. I’m not going to worry. ><

Argh I dunno wtf is wrong with me tonight.. everything’s setting me off.. I just want to go cry somewhere….

I want to get my fan fiction site back on the internet; it’s been so long.. But it needs so much work and it’s just stressing me out… It looks like crap, I don’t have the patience right now… I guess I should just go take a break and find something else to do, but…. I keep putting it off..

See, something as trivial as this is knocking me down and making me feel shitty.. *tears hair out* ><;

Depressed again. Whoo. Ended up crying on Sean’s shoulder. Again. I hate when I do that.